Idiocies

1. As a kid,every time my father would wrench the remote out of my grip to watch cricket ,I would wonder what is so special about cricket that fathers and uncles would watch them for hours happily removing their minds from everything else in life for the duration of the game?!The moment it would end,snap and they would jolt back to reality.Of course now it's a cosmic truth that Bengalis and cricket are inseparable but back then it baffled me to no end.So then I gave myself a rather funny explanation for it.I assumed all the cricketers were Bengali and as Bengalis,fathers were obliged to watch their brothers play.It was familial duty after all.And then I remember mumbling good wishes to my extended family on the screen every time there would be a match and never complaining again about sacrificing my daily dose of cartoon on the old Cartoon Network.

2. My cousin and I as kids were convinced that incense sticks were mosquito repellents.That is to say,we confused them with mosquito coils and were convinced that one of the reasons mothers lit incense sticks was to drug the mosquitoes with their fragrance.So one fine evening,as I was sleeping a very deep sleep,the mosquito net tucked under the mattress to prevent the mosquitoes from entering my safe haven inside,accidentally slipped out.The mosquitoes lunged at me.What followed is a rare act of heroism.The said cousin thought he was the only available savior because my mother was away,cooking and he immediately lit an incense stick and shoved it through the space between the net and the mattress to save me.Of course he announced his act of heroism to my mother who came running to observe the pandemonium-smoke spiraling out of the hole burnt on the net and the daughter wailing painfully.And of course I live to tell the tale.

(I presume someday my kids or other kids would read this.So a word of warning-I have a bad sense of humor and you should absolutely abandon such beliefs if you have them already.)

3. I used to think we live inside Earth as opposed to living on it.And we had to carve our way out to the surface  to visit far off places.And the subway was the secret passage to these places and the metro,the medium.That's why it was called 'Patal rail' and only that,right?

4. I used to have a fetish for long hair and was convinced that contact with any random woman's long hair would help my hair grow faster.So I would deliberately stand close to random women with long hair and hope to see my hair grow over night thanks to contact with talismanic long hair of said women.

5. I used to think brides are goddesses descended upon earth to make uglier people prettier.I used to be mesmerized by their beauty,the gleaming jewelry and the bright red vermillion smeared on the temple.I would stand agape studying the lineations on the bride's face while secretly hoping to be touched by the fairy/angel in disguise.This would go on until my mother would nudge me to follow her to the dining table or to exchange niceties with familiar faces.(This belief is retained to some extent because Indian brides,irrespective of how ordinary they look on the rest of the days,on the day of their wedding,they are goddess-incarnate.)

*Yawns* Saving some for later.Have a nice day.